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Reviewer: Creedence Goblin Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 07/25/14 11:10 pm Title: Chapter 1

I like that you improved your story and had nice descriptions. I am hooked for a sequel.

Reviewer: Molten900 Signed Report
Date: 02/16/14 01:44 am Title: Chapter 12

This story really picked up fast.

Reviewer: Maryjane Signed Report
Date: 01/09/14 07:31 pm Title: Chapter 12

Happy endings are just the greatest!

Reviewer: Gracie216 Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 01/09/14 05:30 am Title: Chapter 12

Great Story, please do Natalie's Diary

Reviewer: Silver Sloth Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 01/08/14 09:51 am Title: Chapter 1

Thanks so much for fixing the formatting - now I can appreciate how good your story is.

Author's Response: You're welcome! And thank you!:)

Reviewer: froghorntx Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 01/08/14 06:48 am Title: Chapter 12

Nice first story. Well written, and definitely worth a sequel!

Author's Response: Thank you very much! I'll definitely start writing a sequel!

Reviewer: Archer Signed Report
Date: 01/08/14 03:10 am Title: Chapter 3

What happened to your formatting? You had the paragraph structure down fine in the previous chapters, and then suddenly new lines of dialog are not being given new paragraphs.

Author's Response: I just fixed the formatting!:) It should be better now!

Reviewer: Techmaster Signed Report
Date: 01/07/14 11:25 pm Title: Chapter 12

Quite cool, just quite short and fast, but keep it up cause u left me hanging

Author's Response: Thank you! I'll be sure to start writing a sequel.

Reviewer: Silver Sloth Signed Report
Date: 01/07/14 05:40 pm Title: Chapter 4

I'm sorry but I gave up reading at this point as I couldn't stand the lack of formatting. It's a shame because I was enjoying the story

Author's Response: I just fixed the formatting!:) Try reading it again and tell me what you think!

Reviewer: Silver Sloth Signed Report
Date: 01/07/14 05:38 pm Title: Chapter 3

Did the formatting go wrong on this chapter?

Author's Response: I just fixed the formatting!:)

Reviewer: Silver Sloth Signed Report
Date: 01/07/14 04:18 pm Title: Chapter 1

Can I second 'blackbear's comments. When you open the story you get this wall of text which is so offputting and then, trying to tease out the story is too much like hard work.

Presentation means so much

Author's Response: I fixed the structure; thanks for the suggestion!

Reviewer: blackbear Signed Report
Date: 01/07/14 07:31 am Title: Chapter 1

I didn't rate this because it is unreadable.

Every time a new character speaks, start a new paragraph. No exceptions.

Otherwise from what I got from it, it seems like a good idea, you just need to SLOW DOWN. Describe things. Half of the joy of reading these stories are the descriptions dude! Give us sizes, thoughts, feelings

Author's Response: I fixed the structure; thanks for the suggestion! I'll also try to add more details.

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