Date: 01/08/14 03:10 am Title: Chapter 3
What happened to your formatting? You had the paragraph structure down fine in the previous chapters, and then suddenly new lines of dialog are not being given new paragraphs.
Author's Response: I just fixed the formatting!:) It should be better now!
Date: 01/07/14 05:40 pm Title: Chapter 4
I'm sorry but I gave up reading at this point as I couldn't stand the lack of formatting. It's a shame because I was enjoying the story
Author's Response: I just fixed the formatting!:) Try reading it again and tell me what you think!
Date: 01/07/14 04:18 pm Title: Chapter 1
Can I second 'blackbear's comments. When you open the story you get this wall of text which is so offputting and then, trying to tease out the story is too much like hard work.
Presentation means so much
Author's Response: I fixed the structure; thanks for the suggestion!
Date: 01/07/14 07:31 am Title: Chapter 1
I didn't rate this because it is unreadable.
Every time a new character speaks, start a new paragraph. No exceptions.
Otherwise from what I got from it, it seems like a good idea, you just need to SLOW DOWN. Describe things. Half of the joy of reading these stories are the descriptions dude! Give us sizes, thoughts, feelings
Author's Response: I fixed the structure; thanks for the suggestion! I'll also try to add more details.