Date: 05/25/14 01:40 pm Title: Huge changes part 2; future
If it were me (writing the tale or Liam, himself) I would have interrupted the start of the "games" and declared, "I wish a chance to speak as someone special. How many century-plus humans do you get a chance to speak with? I predate the lot of you. Here's what I want to know. One, why not just make girls out of all of us. Just one gets lucky and stays male? Man that sucks. And secondly, your attempt to perpetuate humanity's existence, when mother nature clearly is trying to extinct us as a species, is commendable. At least half of us males were probably meant to be born girls, anyway. But why wait till we're 16 to tell mother nature to go stick it? Why not while we're still in the womb or still in infancy and before our "male" personalities evolve? I've not been told why 16, why so late? I'm a newcomer to your time, can't you at least explain why so late? Is it medical, biological, is it because the drug would kill us before then?"
That's what I would ask as Liam (and probably be told to shut up, and get "converted" right then and there. You can't cheat mother nature, however. If she's hell bent on rendering extinct the human race, she'll find another way. (A moon-size asteroid maybe on a collision course with earth.) This "human female conversion solution" is temporary at best.
Author's Response: He does find out why its 16 you just don't get to see the conversation and he doesn't really care about that, what he cares about is that he wants to be male not female and that's all cares about at that moment.
Date: 05/25/14 10:50 am Title: Let the games begin
So, where does this chemical come from? Is the chemical a part of one's bloodstream, that when it comes into contact with metal objects or the outside environemnt, it will cause a chemical reaction? A better description would be great as to where this chemical derives from.
Author's Response: Yeah maybe I should of but the chemical is put in them on the day of the games
Date: 05/25/14 10:39 am Title: Preparation for the games
The description is a little unclear as to how the games came to be. From what I understand, the disease, virus or paracyte that destroyed female genes, only leaving the male ones behind..Does this mean that women who come into contact will be turned into men, so to reverse them back you would have to find a solution to the problem?
Then you stated that when these men were turned back into women, they could only breed males, but not females. So the new male offsprings had to be voluntarily turned into females to breed another set of males?
Did all of this is what lead up to the games? Also, what did you mean when you said, when the woman limit was reached?
Author's Response: When they are turned into females, they also have the disease as it is genetic so they cannot have female children, only males. So it's like a chain reaction: these are then turned to produce males then these are to have more males to carry on the human race. People were forced into being turned so it did lead up to the games by giving people the chance to fight to stay male. The woman limit is how many people are turned female in the game so before it ( it Is said in the story) the number of surviving males are picked out, in this case, one. Thanks for reading and leaving a review :)
Date: 05/25/14 09:00 am Title: The day of the games
Just One? I'd have rallied all the contestants to in unison tell the game's officials to shove the games up their asses, and just convert us all. Some incentive this is. One.
Author's Response: You gotta remember not everybody wants to be a girl, just let yourself loose and become a girl. In case you didn't know, only one male is left at the end in this one, not one male turned female. Thanks for reading :)
Date: 01/24/14 07:12 am Title: The awakening
Good story. The time travel is unexplained and creates some age issues as others have posed, but otherwise an intriguing story.
I liked how the relationship with the sister helped her accept the transition, but surprised the dad wasn't more involved with helping her cope by, sharing similar experiences.
Date: 01/03/14 12:45 am Title: Huge changes part 2; future
I could see a sequel, but my personal preference would be a winner who didn't want to win perhaps, with a twin brother who lost? Just an idea you can throw around a bit. Good story overall, but I noticed that you got 'been' and 'being' mixed up in this chapter. Nothing major, just telling you.
Author's Response: Yeah I can't really do them, how do you know which one to use?
Date: 12/29/13 05:16 pm Title: Huge changes
You have some Very small misspelling mistakes but other then that Its excellent! I has suspense, action,drama Lots of it xD and some cravings for MORE STORY!!! Truly an amazing story Keep it UP!
Author's Response: Yeah sorry about spelling, the story is written on my iPhone and is mostly due to auto correct and it's hard to edit it on it, sorry. You missed out the t in your comment by the way, the irony haha. Thanks for the feedback anyways:)
Date: 12/29/13 12:29 pm Title: Huge changes
Good chapter,love your story,can't wait to see what she/he does next.
Author's Response: Thanks, and thank you for sticking with my story, sadly it's coming to an end but what do you reckon to a sequel. Maybe of a different point of view or a different game in a different arena or should I start completely anew ??
Date: 12/28/13 10:44 pm Title: The awakening
Like it, but you have some problem: The family was found 20 years before the protagonist, and therefore the brother and the sister must be in their 30's. Don't they?
Author's Response: It depends on how old they were before they were frozen, but they won't be far off anyways but this doesn't really matter and age is something I haven't really mentioned for others apart from liam of course.
Date: 12/26/13 01:23 pm Title: Big step
Wow!!! She adjusted quickly, and as usual, I wish I was her as I wish I was ALL the girls in these stories. But as an added perk, the waterfall sound like such a romantic place to consummate a relationship I hope my first ime can be by a waterfall as well. @^-^@
Date: 12/26/13 12:48 pm Title: The awakening
I love both yours and TGLee's stories concerning the Hunger Games style tourrnaments with a TG twist. I do have to say, you need to work on your spelling and grammar a bit. But your story is awesome, especially the chapter dealing with the games themselves. We know she is going to lose. She is telling the story in first person and the best TG Stories are told in first person. But I loved how even though we knew she was going to lose, we didn't know when or how. I especially loved how she took down the guy who took her down. Brilliant stuff, can't wait for more. @^-^@
Author's Response: Thanks and I will try to improve grammar and spelling but most the time it's because of auto correct, sorry but I will take more care thanks :)
Date: 12/26/13 12:34 am Title: Big step
Really enjoying the story so far =)
I find his unwillingness to accept the change believable along with his sudden acceptance (through his sexual appetite).
I like the relationship Leah has with her sister and how you're tying the girly games champion boy back into it.
Keep going with the good story =)
Date: 12/24/13 12:18 am Title: The awakening
wont lie, ur cutting it pretty close to my story, even down to the waterfall scene the whole tournament thing im cool with sharing but thats a little much
Author's Response: Sorry, I haven't read your story but I will try and sway it another way, I will read yours and go some place els, sorry
Date: 12/20/13 11:35 pm Title: Preparation for the games
Good build up for the girly games the next day =)
Though I'm a little confused as to how the father became female if he wouldn't have been eligible for the girly games. Have I missed something? Yet to be explained? Or am I just stupid? haha
Author's Response: I guess i haven't really explained that part but he was one who was forced into it without consent, sorry haha i will edit it a little to briefly explain it sorry :)