Date: 08/06/13 10:47 pm Title: Chapter 1
I disagree with the previous reviewer. Your story makes it clear that the body suit bonds to the person and even (according to Cyrus) imparts female feelings. I think that artistic license gives you the right to suggest that this suit bonds to the skin and eventually becomes the skin. How else could the wearer feel every touch?
I thought it was written very well and had a great story. Perhaps a bit more analysis about the nature of the Constantine/Cyrus world would have been nice. After re-reading it, I'm still not sure what they were doing on earth.
Keep writing. Excellent job!
Author's Response: Thanks for the props! As for the world Cyrus came from, and what they were doing here, you got me: I don't know either. The story was about Oliver becoming Sarah, so the issue never really came up. It was the same with the Brains Bennette story; the motives and plans of the people from the future remained opaque even in the end. I totally understand the curiosity, but answering that question would seriously enlarge the scope of the story. It's written in first-person, so we have to stay with our chosen viewpoint character and we can know only what they know. The story isn't really about some strange intrusion from the future, it's about something truly weird happening in one person's life and how they deal with it. Ultimately, it's about the changes that happen in Oliver's life (mentally and physically).
Date: 08/04/13 02:56 am Title: Chapter 4
Great story, well written with believable characters. Other than the thought of being stuck inside a bodysuit with the real me inside for the rest of my life, I really enjoyed it. I just wish that in the end he had actually merged with the suit or altered into a real body.
Author's Response: I hear ya. Most bodysuit stories do spell that out for the reader. I was hoping to get away with being more subtle, but I may have overdone it. Oh, well. It's a fine line. But I think it's important to at least TRY to hit the sweet spot.